The closing scenes of the movie show the two geezers in a fight to the finish with Bubba Ho-Tep (Bob Ivy), who looks like a threadbare version of the Mummy. This sounds right: A lot of rest home conversations get around sooner or later to constipation. The two men have a thoughtful conversation about whether a soul, after it is digested, leaves anything to be eliminated through the Soul Sucker's intestinal tract. He explains to Elvis that the soul can be sucked out of any orifice, but the old folks' souls are small, so you need to suck a lot of them. The cockroaches turn out to be giant scarab beetles worshipped by the ancient Egyptians, and that's a clue for JFK, who has been reading up on these matters and realizes the nursing home is under attack by a Soul Sucker. 'Let's get decadent,' says JFK, opening his drawer and revealing a horde of Baby Ruth candy bars. The rest home is almost a character in the movie, with its drab institutional corridors, its condescending nurse ( Ella Joyce), its supercilious administrator ( Reggie Bannister), its worn-out furniture, its flying cockroaches, its sense of being half-deserted. Johnson, 'they dyed me.' Now the two old men wait for death in their hospital beds, Elvis on a stroller, JFK using a motorized wheelchair for longer trips, talking about what was and wasn't.

When his assassination was faked by Lyndon B. 'But, Jack.' Elvis says hesitantly, 'you're black.' JFK nods in confirmation. The man in the room down the hall is John F. 'Bubba Ho-Tep' has a lot of affection for Elvis, takes him seriously, and - this is crucial - isn't a camp horror movie, but treats this loony situation as if it's really happening. This narration is not broad comedy, but wicked, observant and truthful. He talks about Priscilla and Lisa Marie, about his movies (not a single good one), about his decision to disappear, and about how he broke his hip falling off a stage. The King explains all of this in a thoughtful, introspective voice-over narration that also deals with other matters on his mind, such as the alarming pustule on that part of his anatomy where it is least welcome.

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